


i call out your name. (it feels like a song i know so well.)

by courage_of_stars



Series: oh, this is love like wildness. [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Body Worship, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Families of Choice, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mental Health Issues, Rivals to Lovers, Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:34:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26887429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courage_of_stars/pseuds/courage_of_stars
Summary: Everything is raw and visceral on the court. Oikawa is a typhoon. Kageyama is a thunderstorm. Two unstoppable forces of nature clashing mercilessly. Amidst the chaos, something else grows inside. Something kind. Something loving.---(Kageyama and Oikawa through time. Failing together. Rising together.)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru
Series: oh, this is love like wildness. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102331
Comments: 26
Kudos: 229





	i call out your name. (it feels like a song i know so well.)

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: mental health, anxiety, depression, implied NSFW
> 
> \-- Hinata and Ushijima: [little bird.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27995895)

Reaching across the space between them, Kageyama grasps Oikawa's hand. Fingers lace together as if bound by a gravitational pull. To the untrained eye, Oikawa's hands appear immaculate. But Kageyama feels an intricate map of callouses and scars. Years of rigorous training, commitment, and playing sculpt these hands. Every lionhearted mark has been rightfully earned.

Kageyama nuzzles the back of Oikawa's hand. Lips brush over each knuckle. Eyes falling shut, Kageyama cherishes the rough markings against his cheek. He listens to surrounding ambient sounds: a forgotten film playing onscreen, rainfall striking the living room windows, their steady breathing.

"Tobio."

Blue eyes flicker open. "Mmm?" Kageyama's cheek still rests against his partner's hand. "Are you okay? You're so red."

Oikawa darkens another shade of scarlet. It's not as if his boyfriend's trying to be coy. Since childhood, Kageyama has been earnest to a fault. With his own rough, calloused hand, Kageyama cradles the side of Oikawa's face. His thumb brushes over a cheekbone. The fierce blush trickles down Oikawa's neck. But it doesn't stop Oikawa from leaning into his lover's palm.

Countless times, Oikawa has witnessed Kageyama handle a volleyball with finessed brutality and phenomenal power. Those hands are weapons on the court. But Kageyama's hands have only ever been gentle with Oikawa. Under this soft touch, Oikawa's heart forgets how to hold a steady rhythm.

"Tobio!" Oikawa swears he might pass out. It's impossible to not melt from all of this tenderness. " _I_ should be the one making _you_ flustered!"

Puzzled, Kageyama tilts his head. "What?"

"And you're even wearing my sweater!" Oikawa tugs at the fabric's hem. "How many boyfriend points are you trying to rack up today?"

With stifled laughter, Kageyama hides his smile against Oikawa's other hand. The overlarge sweater hangs loosely off his frame. Kageyama gave the white and turquoise sweater as a surprise gift. Even in adulthood, Oikawa will always be fond of Aoba Johsai's colors. The sweater's grown softer over the years as they take turns wearing it. When seeing Kageyama in these colors, Oikawa wonders what it might've been like if they both attended Aoba Johsai.

But if Kageyama didn't choose Karasuno, then they wouldn't have faced off against each other. Pushing each other harder than any other player. Standing on opposite sides of the court was challenging, maddening, exhilarating. They've always shared the roaring, ravenous desire to win. Any time their greatest rival executed a brilliant play, they were slammed with frustration. 

And respect.

And awe. 

And something too breathtaking to be named.

Everything is raw and visceral on the court. Oikawa is a typhoon. Kageyama is a thunderstorm. Two unstoppable forces of nature clashing mercilessly. Amidst the chaos, something else grows inside. Something kind. Something loving. It's taken root, since a little boy would eagerly ask how to jump serve.

Kageyama climbs into his boyfriend's lap. Strong, honed arms wraps around Oikawa's shoulders. "I can practically hear you thinking," he muses with a small grin. The words dance along Oikawa's sharp jawline as Kageyama drags his lips. "What's on your mind?"

"You."

Oikawa laughs when Kageyama lightly hits him with a sofa cushion. The blush coloring Kageyama's face is too adorable. Oikawa feigns hurt from the cushion that bounced off his head. "Owwww!" he wails with his usual theatrics. The melodrama's only gained more flair over the years. Oikawa pouts. "Okay, now I'm taking away boyfriend points."

"Go ahead." Kageyama shrugs with an air of nonchalance. "I still have more than you."

With flaring amber eyes, Oikawa gasps. His brows knit together. "Are you making this a competition?!"

"Yeah, and I'm winning--" 

The words dissolve into innocent laughter as Kageyama's pinned on his back. Hovering above him, Oikawa holds Kageyama's hands by his head. Oikawa takes in the sight-- blue eyes shining bright, dark hair tousled, face flushed scarlet, lips curved into a smile. Oikawa doubts he'll ever stop marveling at this softness. There are sides to Kageyama that only surface for him.

"Alright, then." Oikawa grins. It echoes the excitement he shows on court when the setter's challenged. Determination gleams in warm brown eyes. "How do I earn more points? Because no way am I letting you win this."

Kageyama plays along, and takes a moment to ponder. After a thoughtful hum, he answers, "Kisses and cuddles." Then with a hopeful gaze, Kageyama adds, "Please?"

Oikawa's heart throws itself around in his ribcage. He falls deeper for those eyes reflecting the sky. From butterfly kisses to lazy nuzzling, Oikawa gives his partner everything he could ever want. The living room fills with Kageyama's laughter. It grows brighter, richer with passing seconds. A few giggles sneak in-between.

Smiling warmly, Oikawa kisses Kageyama's temple. "I have the world's cutest boyfriend!"

"Not true." Kageyama shakes his head. He watches Oikawa with scintillated blues. " _I_ have the cutest boyfriend-"

Words muffle when Oikawa covers Kageyama's mouth. He's ready to counter with a passionate rebuttal, but Kageyama keeps talking. Oikawa only catches bits and pieces. But he gets the gist of what his partner says. It's whispered through the way Kageyama's smile reaches his eyes.

"Tobio." Oikawa kisses Kageyama's forehead. He draws back in time to see vibrant ultramarines turn into happy crescent moons. "What am I going to do with you?"

Kageyama answers by kissing his lover's palm. Overabundant joy crescendoes inside Oikawa. As strong arms circle around him, Oikawa melts into the embrace. He buries his face into Kageyama's neck and shoulder. A soft sigh dances across scatterings of rouge marks.

"I adore you."

"I adore you too."

* * *

They lost. 

The slam of the volleyball hitting the ground echoes in Oikawa's ears. Deafening applause and cheers for the opposing team fill the gymnasium. Oikawa can't feel his hands. Numbness travels up his arms, blistering across his shoulders, threatening to calcify his heart. Everyone on Oikawa's side of the court remains frozen in place. None of them appear to be breathing. Shaking hands with the other team proves to be a surreal, out-of-body experience.

As the university's team captain, Oikawa holds his composure. Now isn't the time to be paralyzed by anxiety-- no matter how savage and unforgiving the invisible beast may be. Oikawa gathers his team to line up, clapping backs and shoulders along the way, even as his teammates cry. Most of them are quiet about it. But there's no shortage of cascading tears and trembling shoulders. 

He hits Iwaizumi's back just as hard now as he did during past losses. Iwaizumi said he'd quit volleyball after high school. But he's still playing by Oikawa's side now, and wiping away scalding tears with his shirt.

Oikawa ruffles Hinata's hair as the younger athlete shakes with sobs. He shares a look of understanding with Ushijima. Silently, Ushijima wraps an arm around Hinata's shoulders. As he draws Hinata against his side, Ushijima's eyes glimmer. Or perhaps it's a trick of the gymnasium lights.

For a moment longer, Oikawa's hand lingers on Kageyama's back. His hand fits perfectly between strong shoulder blades. From the subtle, unsteady tremors under Oikawa's palm, he knows that Kageyama's fighting hard to hold tears in. Neither of them believe there's anything wrong with crying. Vulnerability is not weakness. But they know if they cry right here, right now-- they wouldn't stop. 

Right now, they need to keep moving.

As the players line up, Oikawa's arm falls to his side. Kageyama grasps his hand. It's not a fleeting touch. Kageyama intertwines their fingers, and holds Oikawa's hand so hard that it almost aches. Oikawa swallows back a sob. In his periphereal, he catches a glimpse of Kageyama's lips curving subtly. That reassuring smile reveals tears in clear blue eyes. Only Kageyama can make Oikawa almost break down, and keep it together at the same time.

The team bows and gives thanks to the audience for their support. _"Thank you very much!"_ Later, their coach offers a few words to the team. So does Oikawa. The captain puts his heart into it, even when that heart's breaking. More tears are shed as the team upholds the tradition of a post-game meal. Oikawa is present and focused with giving his team support. His own emotions get locked up tight, and shoved aside.

Until he returns home.

Oikawa barely steps into the living room before a sob breaks through. It's always the first sob that obliterates hastily done sutures. Oikawa leans against the nearest wall for support. But his knees give out underneath him. Closing his eyes tightly, Oikawa slides down the wall. A vicious waterfall of tears and sobs escape. He caves in on himself, forehead on the ground. Each sob's driven with such force that his frame racks violently. Oikawa's shirt strains from fingers clutching at his chest. Vocal chords already hoarse from shouting on the court burn rawer. He's crying so hard that he can barely catch his breath.

This loss is reminiscent of when Aoba Johsai lost to Karasuno. Oikawa broke hard once he was alone. But this match's loss shatters him even more. As they play in a bigger stage, as they rise to higher levels-- the stakes skyrocket as well. If they fall, the plummet is more devastating.

From middle school to university, Oikawa has been captain. Nobody like Oikawa knows how hard his team's been training, what sacrifices they've all made, how every player gave their absolute best. And what a rare, golden opportunity they have-- former rivals and opponents playing on the same side of the court. All of them bringing the best out of each other. As captain, Oikawa should've led them to victory.

Instead they were defeated.

Guilt grows suffocating by the second, burying him alive. Oikawa doesn't recognize the sound of his own voice anymore. Curses disintegrate into incoherence. Emotional heartache crosses into the territory of physical agony. Lungs balance on the brink of collapsing. Every muscle, bruise and sore catches fire. Even the dull ache of his straining knee gnaws mercilessly.

Strong arms circle around Oikawa from behind. Kageyama rests his hands over Oikawa's, and tightly laces their fingers together. When Kageyama's sob grazes his ear, Oikawa cries harder. The protectiveness of this embrace overwhelms the older setter. With Kageyama's chest pressed against Oikawa's back, they feel each other's tremendous sobs. The tremors. The tension. The jolts. Jagged gasps and fractured cries fill the dark apartment.

They cry until exhausting themselves. Kageyama doesn't let go of Oikawa. Aching, bruised fingers sift through a mess of brown hair. Oikawa's breath hitches with quieter sobs. This is the first time they've been with someone during a post-game breakdown. Also the first time they're in a relationship with a teammate.

A wickedly different brand of fear grips at Oikawa's chest. Through his bangs, Oikawa stares at the edge where the wall and floor connect. Another wave of tears surface. Everything blurs.

"You still want to be with me?"

Kageyama's fingers slow to a stop. After a moment, he lets out a breath. "Love," Kageyama says softly. "Of course, I want to be with you-"

 _"But we lost!"_ Oikawa cuts in sharply, turning to face Kageyama. Words ricochet off the walls. Oikawa glares with tears burning his eyes. Rage and guilt contorts the man's expression. "We fucking lost! Why do you still want to be with me when I couldn't get us to win?!" Oikawa sits upright, hands tightly clenched. Furious tears scorch down. "Why are you with me?" Oikawa's aware that he's spiraling. But he can't stop. The man stares at his shaking hand. "Even after how I almost hurt you in middle school."

Quiet passes for a few moments. With a deep inhale, Kageyama sits up. "You apologized. And I forgave you." Kageyama takes hold of Oikawa's trembling hand.

Even when Oikawa tries to withdraw his hand, Kageyama presses his partner's palm on his cheek. It's the same side Oikawa nearly hit during Kitagawa Daiichi. More tears well in Oikawa's eyes. They fall down to touch the younger setter's hand.

Suddenly, Kageyama stands up, and steps away.

"Tobio--!" Oikawa catches the end of Kageyama's jersey jacket. Panic strickens his face. "I'm sorry, please don't go, I-" Another sob chokes his voice.

Kageyama looks at him with wide eyes. His gaze softens with understanding. "Hey, sweetheart, it's okay. I'm still here." Leaning down, Kageyama kisses Oikawa's head, and hushes him gently. "Don't worry. I'll be right back." After Kageyama nuzzles him, Oikawa relaxes, and lets go of the fabric. "Hold onto this for me?" He slips off the jacket, and passes it over to Oikawa. 

They share a light, soft kiss before Kageyama walks away. Oikawa leans back against the wall. He holds Kageyama's jersey close to his chest, and buries his face into the fabric. The comforting scent helps Oikawa to breathe.

Oikawa blinks at the sound of running water. Before he can get up, Kageyama returns. Without warning, Kageyama lifts Oikawa into his arms.

"Oh, my gosh-- Tobio!" Oikawa yelps in surprise. Instinctively, he wraps his arms around Kageyama's shoulders. "Aren't you tired?" Oikawa vividly recalls Kageyama pushing the limits of his stamina during the game. Kageyama even crashed into the side barriers in order to receive the ball. "Babe, you can put me down. I'll walk."

Kageyama kisses his boyfriend's cheek, then nuzzles him. "Y'know I love carrying you." 

The setter carries Oikawa with ease. Oikawa has witnessed Kageyama's strength numerous times during training and matches. But Oikawa's always so overwhelmed when Kageyama manhandles him effortlessly.

In the bathroom, they undress each other. Each layer taken off reveals emerging bruises. Kageyama helps Oikawa into the full bathtub, then follows after him. Oikawa sits between his partner's legs, leaning his back against the strong chest. Tears singe the edges of his eyes when Kageyama embraces him.

"Tobio, I'm sorry," Oikawa murmurs under his breath. Guilt twists and tightens in his ribcage. "I shouldn't have lashed out at you." His exhausted voice fractures. There's seemingly no end to these tears. "And-- and I should be taking care of you-"

Kageyama kisses Oikawa's shoulder. "We take care of each other." 

Oikawa means to reply, but another sob catches in his throat.

"Tooru."

Oikawa's heart aches. His first name always sounds so precious, even reverent when his partner says it. "Yeah?"

"We could lose the next game. And the next. And the next." Kageyama tightens the embrace. "And I still want to be with you."

The bathroom's silent except for the humming air vents, and water dripping from ends of soaked hair. But the quiet ripples when Oikawa inhales roughly. The rush of oxygen's heavy with barely audible crying.

"But here's the thing--" 

Kageyama turns Oikawa's face towards him. Fierce fortitude shines in blue eyes. 

"We are not going to lose," Kageyama declares with all his heart. "And our team doesn't want you to be Atlas. You don't ever have to carry our losses by yourself. Yes, you're our captain, and we'd follow you anywhere--" Kageyama holds Oikawa's hand tighter. "But there's more than one of us on the court. We're strong together."

The words echo what Iwaizumi shouted at Oikawa years ago. It seems like some lessons take time to sink in. Crying quietly, Oikawa nods. Kageyama kisses away his tears, and keeps murmuring comfort. Oikawa turns around to burrow more into the embrace. Limbs knock against the bathtub. With a shuddering sob, Oikawa buries his face into Kageyama's shoulder. Sobs reverberate in the bathroom. 

And the sobs aren't only from Oikawa. Kageyama cries as well. Tears keep falling as they dry off, help each other into new clothes, and lay close in bed.

Sometimes, it's not about holding desperately onto heavy armor.

Sometimes, it's about falling apart together.

* * *

"You spoil me."

"You deserve everything."

With a huff, Oikawa rests his chin on Kageyama's shoulder. His chest leans against his boyfriend's back, and palms touch the counter. "Why are you so nice to me?"

"To make up for how I destroy you during practice." A hint of a smirk flickers on Kageyama's face.

Oikawa scoffs loudly while scowling. "Bold words coming from a man in an apron with a cute lil' crow." He pokes at said crow. There's a thrill of satisfaction from how Kageyama laughs.

"I can beat you in volleyball even while wearing this apron-- which _you_ got for me," Kageyama points out. He adds more ingredients to the mixing bowl. "Also I'm starting to think you don't want this tiramisu. Maybe I'll give it to Hinata and Ushijima. Or Bokuto and Akaashi? How about Iwaizumi eats the entire thing in front of you?"

"No, Tobio!" Oikawa lets out a pterodactyl screech. It reaches almost inhuman decibels. He aggressively nuzzles Kageyama. "It's ours! They can make their own!" Oikawa ends up pouting. "I mean-- they can have _some._ But I want most, because you made it, and I get to be selfish about that."

Another warm round of laughter spills from Kageyama. Fondness softens his features. "Alright, alright." Kageyama kisses Oikawa's head. "Can you taste test some of the cream?"

"Sure!" Oikawa beams excitedly. His index finger catches some cream from the bowl's edge.

"How is it? Too sweet? Not sweet enough?"

"It's perfect!" Light brown eyes shine in awe. Oikawa indulges by poking his finger into the bowl for another taste. "I don't know how you keep getting better every time--"

Before Oikawa can bring his finger to his mouth, Kageyama grasps the man's wrist, and licks at the cream. The tip of his tongue flickers. "Mm--" He hums in contemplation. Needing to try a little more, Kageyama takes Oikawa's finger into his mouth. Dark lashes flutter as he moans softly.

Oikawa stares. He's almost too stunned to be aroused. Kageyama doesn't go out of his way to be seductive. He just does these infuriatingly alluring things. And today, Kageyama's even wearing one of Oikawa's button downs. Tan skin contrasts well with the soft white shirt. The top few buttons are left undone. Not only does Oikawa see those gorgeous collar bones, but the hickeys painted over from last night.

With a happy sigh, Kageyama draws his mouth away. "You're right. It's perfect." He turns back to the bowl. "I wouldn't be able to make desserts without you."

Oikawa steps in closer. "Don't give me too much credit. You're the genius in the kitchen." He nuzzles his boyfriend. It's impossible to forget the sight of Kageyama worshipping his hand. "How much longer for you to finish?"

"For this part--" Kageyama surveys the kitchen counter, and does the math in his head. "Just a few minutes?"

"Good." Oikawa wraps an arm around Kageyama from behind. He kisses the nape of the young man's neck. "It's my turn to spoil you." A calloused hand slides under the shirt. His lips curve into a smile when Kageyama's breath hitches. 

Kageyama leans his head back. "You'll make lot of marks?"

"Oh, sweetheart--" Oikawa laughs breathlessly. He tightens the embrace, and presses a kiss under Kageyama's jaw. "I'll do more than just that." 

One by one, Oikawa undoes the shirt buttons.

The apron stays on. 

* * *

Slams echo in the gymnasium like peals of thunder. A calloused palm strikes volleyballs in near rapid-fire succession.

Serve after serve after serve--

Oikawa catches a glimpse of furious tears held back in blue eyes. He knows this is less for practice, and more for venting. Oikawa stands off to the side. He remains in his partner's peripheral, but doesn't stop him. Without any prompting, eventually Kageyama talks.

"Phone call."

Slam.

"Parents."

Slam.

"Lecture."

Slam.

Oikawa counts the seconds of a deliberately slow exhale. Although Kageyama only uses bare minimum words, Oikawa gets a sense of what happened. It never sits well with Oikawa how Kageyama's parents were negligent during their son's childhood and adolescence. Even though Kageyama's well into adulthood, they spontaneously call to 'lecture' their son.

Escalating rage drives each brutal serve. This is the only situation when Kageyama doesn't care about making serves count. Often the ball goes out of bounds. Other times the ball launches into a completely wayward direction. There's a few incidents when the ball slams so hard into the net that it almost breaks.

Once the last volleyball's struck, echoes fade. But there's still a ringing left in their ears. Heavy breathing fills the silence. Kageyama begins collecting the scattered volleyballs.

In the past, Oikawa tried to help out. But he's learned that Kageyama prefers cleaning up on his own, since it keeps his body moving. What Kageyama needs from Oikawa is his company. So, Oikawa walks alongside the other setter. Occasionally, he reaches out to dry stray tears, or brush dark bangs aside. Wordlessly, Kageyama leans into Oikawa's touch.

The volleyball crate fills up. Kageyama wheels it back towards the storage room. As Oikawa follows inside, Kageyama breaks the silence.

"They said volleyball's only meant to be a hobby."

Kageyama stands with his back to Oikawa. The overexertion of struggling to stay in control turns his frame rigid. Although they've known each other for years, Kageyama doesn't want Oikawa to see his ugly side. Right now, he's hideous with fury, resentment, grief, and too many other fucked up emotions. Kageyama feels The King of the Court lurking, scratching at the insides of his ribcage. The true target of all this strife is himself. But it's still unnerving for anyone to be within radius of Kageyama's vehement rants.

His lips part and close repeatedly. Whenever Kageyama's about to start a sentence, he can't even figure out the next syllable. Ocean eyes growing darker by the moment close tightly. The setter tries to reach for that internal reservoir of calm. Instead Kageyama sinks deeper into a building inferno of frustration. All eloquence hurls out the window, glass shattering into oblivion.

"God _damnit!_ " The shout grates roughly at the edges. Something acerbic singes the back of Kageyama's throat. "It's not like I even give two fucks about their approval!" His grip on the cart tightens like a vice. Tanned skin stretches taunt over knuckles. "I just fucking hate it when they tear down everything our team does! And other teams! And anyone that's given everything to volleyball, or any other sport, or any passion at all! They don't-- they-" Words splinter under the tremendous weight of wrath and heartache. "They don't understand how hard we work, how much we've sacrificed, how we give fucking everything, how much this means to us--"

Behind burning closed eyes, images of his grandfather ignite. It's a haphazardly spliced together film reel that will never leave Kageyama. He sees the steady line of strong, broad shoulders. Calloused, yet warm hands fixing Kageyama's form. A loving smile even while lying in the hospital bed.

Not once did his parents ever see Kageyama's grandfather play volleyball. They've never seen Kageyama play either. Or his best friends. Or his teammates. Or the man he's deeply, unconditionally in love with.

When Kageyama opens his eyes, everything in his sight blurs from tears. "What am I not doing enough of?" It's a question that's haunted him for years. "I- _fuck--!_ " Gritting his teeth, Kageyama draws his arm back. Red rage swallows his vision.

Oikawa catches Kageyama's wrist, and locks it in a firm grip. Clarity strikes blue eyes. The overwhelming red fades away. Only then does Kageyama realize he almost punched a concrete wall. With such intense force driving that strike, the setter would've severely injured his hand.

"I-...I'm sorry," Kageyama stammers out an apology. Wide eyes brim with shameful tears. "I shouldn't-- Especially when we have a game coming up-"

"What matters most is you."

"You're right, because I'm a setter, and I should've thought twice before hurting my hand, I'm sorry-"

"Tobio." Gently, Oikawa hushes his partner. He wipes damp eyes, then rests his hand on Kageyama's cheek. "Yes, the game is important. But _you_ are most important. You're more than just a volleyball tossing machine."

"Would you still love me if I wasn't playing volleyball?"

Fuck.

The question slips out before Kageyama's mind catches up with his tongue. Anger extinguishes. With the passing of a torrid firestorm, Kageyama's left empty and hollow. A bitter aftertaste lingers in his mouth. Hanging his head, tears fall onto the ground. He's about to apologize for firing the cruel question at his partner.

"Tooru, I--"

Oikawa pulls closer Kageyama by the wrist. An apology obliterates between the collision of lips. Before Kageyama has a chance to react, Oikawa pins the man up against the wall. Kageyama's lips part with a breathless moan, beckoning for Oikawa to claim the inside of his mouth. With mirrored hunger, Oikawa deepens the kiss. But Kageyama never yields easily. They thrive off the neverending push-and-pull. The other setter is their only equal in these battles.

As oxygen diminishes, and lungs scream for air, their lips part. Staggered breathing fills the silence. Oikawa brushes light kisses on the side of Kageyama's face. The slow burn of catharsis washes over. Kageyama feels raw with vulnerability. He grips his partner's shirt like a life line, so he doesn't drift further out into the sea. Tears bite at skin until soothed over by Oikawa's lips. 

"Of course, I'd still love you." Oikawa seals the words by flicking Kageyama's forehead. When Kageyama huffs, Oikawa brushes back dark bangs, and kisses the rising scarlet. "You'll forever be my favorite setter. But there's more to you than volleyball, Tobio. And darling--" Oikawa wipes away another stray tear. Warm browns call those weary blues home. "You're already more than enough. You always have been."

It's tempting for Kageyama to tear his gaze away. Nothing burns more than truths Kageyama still struggles to believe in. A tremor runs down Kageyama's arm until reaching his hand. He holds onto Oikawa's shirt tighter.

In a cracking voice, Kageyama says, "You deserve better."

"Actually, I deserve the best." With his signature theatrical flair, Oikawa places a hand on his chest, and lifts his chin. " _The absolute best!_ And y'know what that is?" Oikawa tilts Kageyama's chin, so their eyes meet. His gaze softens. "It's you, Tobio."

It's futile for Kageyama to fight the tears and laughter. They rush out of him freely. Only Oikawa can be cheeky and moving at the same time.

"I love you." Tugging on Oikawa's shirt, Kageyama pulls him in closer. Their foreheads touch. "God-- I love you, I fucking love you."

Kageyama kisses Oikawa hard. He pours all of his gratitude, his love, his desire for this man into the kiss. Oikawa slides a hand under Kageyama's shirt. He smiles into the kiss at the feeling of a pleasant shudder. Eager to reciprocate, Kageyama locks a thigh around Oikawa, and pulls him in closer. His free hand tugs at auburn brown locks to elicit a deep groan. By pulling Oikawa's head back, Kageyama lavishes attention onto the man's throat. He laps at the pulse point when hearing a failed stifled moan.

"--babe."

"Mmm?"

"This is fucking hot," Oikawa gasps out. Breathless laughter accompanies a warm smile. "But wanna continue at home?"

"Will you let me--" Kageyama whispers a few words into Oikawa's ear. 

Oikawa holds on tighter. Those words tempt him to tear off Kageyama's clothes right here and now. But he's learned there are great rewards for patience. Oikawa leans in for another kiss.

"Absolutely." Oikawa's hand memorizes the rhythm of a wildly beating heart. "Let's go home."

* * *

**( sms: kageyama )** Hey, darling <3 Hope your class went well. On my way home now. I wanted to say thanks for being there for me.

 **( sms: kageyama )** You're my anchor. I'm grateful I get to stand by your side.

 **( sms: kageyama )** I love you.

 **( sms: kageyama )** Also I'm bringing boba uwu 

**( sms: hinata )** hdkskxjddks k a Ge YA Ma!!!!!!! QAQ <3<3<3 YOU'RE SO SWEET TO YOUR BOYFRIEND CIDBKSIXNSKS YOU EVEN USED uwu JNDKSJZNS!!!!!!

 **( sms: kageyama )** wtf why are you here

 **( sms: tanaka )** NISHINOYA AND I ARE DYING LMAO OMFG WOOOOO YEAH KAGEYAMA!!!!!!

 **( sms: sugawara )** Asahi's crying, so he can't see the screen to text back. But he's happy for you both

 **( sms: sugawara )** And so am I, of course ^-^ <3

 **( sms: nishinoya )** PROUD OF YOU, KAGEYAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:) YOU WIN CUTE BOYFRIEND AWARD!!! ATTA, BOY!!!!!

 **( sms: tsukishima )** Only the King would make a sfw text more embarrassing than a nsfw one

 **( sms: kuroo )** This made my fucking DAY L M A O I AM LIVINGGGG 

**( sms: bokuto )** HEY HEY HEY LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! O'w'O <3<3<3

 **( sms: akaashi )** Very sweet, Kageyama. Although I'm not surprised. That one training camp.........

 **( sms: kindaichi )** PAY UP, KUNIMI. I freaking told you that Kageyama is SOFT with Oikawa

 **( sms: kenma )** You guys made a bet?

 **( sms: kunimi )** Since middle school

 **( sms: daichi )** Be nice, everyone!!!!!! And Kageyama-- well done :) 

**( sms: yamaguchi )** ;-; <3 Who knew Kageyama's such a doting boyfriend?

 **( sms: kageyama )** WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE?!!?!!!??

 **( sms: iwaizumi )** You texted the group chat

 **( sms: iwaizumi )** The one with ALL of us

 **( sms: kageyama )** Oh

 **( sms: kageyama )** Oh god 

**( sms: kageyama )** Oh my fucking god

 **( sms: oikawa )** BBYYYYYYYYY

 **( sms: oikawa )** MY SWEET A N G E L !!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **( sms: oikawa )** THAT WAS SO ADORABLE !!!!!!! I LOVE UUUUUUUUU <3 <3 <3

 **( sms: kageyama )** I love you too //// 

**( sms: hinata )** KAGEYAMA'S USING BLUSHY LINES JXNWKXIDJ Q^Q <3<3<3 I CAN'T TAKE THIS I'm S cREamInGGG

 **( sms: ushijima )** What lines? 

**( sms: hinata )** Blushy lines!!! To show that you're flustered. Y'know like when I text /// at you a lot jxnskxjdj ////////// <3 <3 

**( sms: ushijima )** Oh, I see.

 **( sms: ushijima )** :) <3

Texts screaming about Ushijima using a smiley face _and_ heart flood the group chat. Oikawa laughs while watching the chaos unfold. In the past, nobody was that surprised to learn about Oikawa and Kageyama dating. Even now, they still get a kick out of seeing Kageyama being soft and endearing. But Hinata and Ushijima's relationship caught everyone off guard in the best way.

At the sound of the front door unlocking, Oikawa looks up from the screen. He approaches with a beaming smile. "Welcome home!"

Kageyama halts. He stands at the edge of the living room, holding a carrier with two boba milk teas, and the strap of his messenger bag diagonally slung across his chest. Too many emotions swim in blue eyes. Even after all these years, Kageyama's still moved by Oikawa welcoming him home. After his grandfather passed away, Kageyama often returned to an empty house. But now, there's someone waiting for him.

Oikawa approaches his boyfriend. He's eager to greet Kageyama with a kiss. They meet each other halfway. Kageyama sighs softly into the kiss, then nuzzles his partner.

"I'm home," Kageyama murmurs against Oikawa's shoulder. "Sorry if I embarrassed you in the group chat."

"What? No way!" Oikawa showers his boyfriend with more light kisses. He doesn't stop until he gets Kageyama to smile. "That was so cute and sweet. I didn't get a chance to reply to your first few texts, but-" Oikawa rests his hand on the side of Kageyama's face. "I'll always be here for you. And I'm happy that you're thinking of me so much. You're my anchor too, love."

Kageyama's face burns against Oikawa's palm. Oikawa dotes on him with another scattering of light kisses. The blush darkens even more.

"Call me that." With a smile, Oikawa holds up his phone, and points at the screen. "I wanna hear it in-person."

Kageyama leans in to get a better look at the glowing screen. Oikawa points at one of his boyfriend's texts in the chat. Chuckling, Kageyama takes Oikawa's phone, and sets it aside. His hand rests on the side of Oikawa's neck, and cradles the well-sculpted jaw. As he leans in for a kiss, Kageyama says:

"Darling."

Oikawa's face lights up-- like dawn arriving to greet the Earth with a new day. He smiles into the sweet kiss. Kageyama sets the tea and messenger bag aside. He wraps his arms around Oikawa's shoulders, then indulges his partner in another kiss. Then another. And another. _'Darling'_ is whispered in-between.

* * *

The sun hasn't risen yet when they go for a run. Draining fatigue makes Oikawa's body feel heavier. He tossed and turned all night. Since Kageyama's a light sleeper, he barely slept as well. Kageyama reassures Oikawa that he's fine. But Oikawa still feels guilty for keeping his partner up.

On the route away from their home, they jog side by side. After a few minutes pass, Oikawa begins crying quietly. Kageyama doesn't comment. He just stays close. Silence draws on as they keep running.

On the route back home, they walk while holding hands. Kageyama dries his boyfriend's tears. 

"I'm sorry," Oikawa whispers. 

"You don't need to apologize." Kageyama kisses Oikawa's cheek, and holds his hand tighter. "None of this is your fault." It's a gentle reminder Kageyama's given countlessly. And he'll keep saying these words as many times Oikawa needs to hear it.

Oikawa wipes away another wave of tears with his sleeve. There's no rhyme or reason for why these depressive lows hit. Sometimes, Oikawa can get a sense of the approaching sadness. It's like seeing a storm on the horizon line. By a glance, the storm appears far-away. But only too late does Oikawa realize how swiftly the storm draws closer. Other times depression crashes in like a tsunami wave. Abruptly. Catastrophically. Whatever form the episode may take-- there's no avoiding the sadness pulling stronger than gravity.

No one would guess Oikawa struggles with depression. Since childhood, he's worn smiles before he could talk. And it's not as if Oikawa's trying to fool anyone with a mask. The man genuinely likes himself best when he's upbeat. 

Once being in a relationship, depression mutates into a whole new monster. Kageyama's one of the few Oikawa has told about his mental illness. It was shared even before they began dating. Now as his partner, Kageyama has more contact with it than anyone else in Oikawa's life.

What if someday Kageyama gets tired of all this? After all, Oikawa's beyond tired of his own depression. Today's one of their rare days off. But it starts with Kageyama waking up to Oikawa crying. Why? No reason. Depression doesn't care if it's 4AM or 4PM. Oikawa's chest collapses in on itself with harrowing grief. The man doesn't even know what he's mourning over. Sometimes nothing. Sometimes everything. Oikawa feels like he should just bury himself under the covers, and smother himself with the pillow. 

Instead he's outside with Kageyama beside him. The fears of being a burden won't be resolved overnight. Or even over a few years. It's a harsh truth Oikawa's had to reconcile with during therapy. But he feels those fears alleviate when Kageyama catches Oikawa gazing at him, and gives him a soft smile. There's nothing, but deep adoration in those blue eyes.

Their apartment complex is right up ahead. But while holding Oikawa's hand tighter, Kageyama turns towards a different route.

"Babe!" Oikawa startles in surprise and curiosity. "Where are we going?"

"Trust me." Kageyama smiles over his shoulder. "You'll see."

Warmth blooms in Oikawa's chest. It expands and flows, flooding through him even as Kageyama diverts his gaze ahead. When Oikawa looks down at their clasped hands, a sense of nostalgia strikes. In middle school, Kageyama didn't even reach Oikawa's shoulders. But his heart was golden as ever. Kageyama took Oikawa's hand on a day when he was determined to cheer up the older setter.

Their favorite bakery comes into view. As if on cue, an employee turns the _CLOSED_ sign around to display _OPEN._ Kageyama opens the door for Oikawa, then follows after him. They're greeted by the sweet, warm aroma of freshly baked goods.

Out of habit, Oikawa seeks out milk bread. The man blinks in puzzlement when he sees that the designated area for milk bread is empty. Before quiet disappointment can settle in, Kageyama tugs on his sleeve. Oikawa looks over with a pout, ready to lament about being deprived of milk bread. But his eyes widen as Kageyama holds out a bag.

"I get our bread from here all the time." Kageyama nudges the bag forward. "They have some ready for us before the full tray's out."

Oikawa takes the bag, and peers inside. There's a loaf of milk bread, and milk boxes. Oikawa bites on his lower lip to stop himself from crying again. But a few tears escape as the couple leaves the bakery. Kageyama opens the milk bread's packaging, and offers a piece to Oikawa. While Kageyama stabs the plastic straw into his milk box, Oikawa bites into the milk bread. He chokes on a sob. Kageyama stops before taking the first sip.

"Is--" Kageyama falters. He tears off a piece from the loaf to try out. "Is it not good?"

Oikawa shakes his head. "It's good, it's perfect, I just- I--" More tears fall. His voice catches on another sob. "I love you, Tobio. I love you so much."

Oikawa knows he must look ridiculous-- crying while eating milk bread. But it's hard not to cry when Kageyama looks at him with such fond eyes. Kageyama dries his tears, then cups his cheek. Oikawa leans into his partner's touch. The rising sun catches on glimmering blues.

"I love you too."

As he says those words, Kageyama leans in for a kiss. Oikawa melts from the soft affection. They continue to share pieces of bread while heading home.

After sipping on the milk box, Kageyama asks, "Remember when you bought me milk bread in middle school?"

The memory instantly tugs a grin on Oikawa's face. "You mean when you also wanted to hold my hand?" His grin takes on a teasing nature. "You were so adorable, Tobio! My cute lil' kouhai!"

Kageyama blushes. But he doesn't fight a smile when Oikawa takes his hand. "I just..." Kageyama draws in a deep breath that fills his chest. "Somehow, I just _knew_ that day."

Curiously, Oikawa glances over. "Knew what?"

"That I always want to stand by your side."

Kageyama lifts their clasped fingers to kiss the back of Oikawa's hand. Oikawa feels another wave of tears rising when Kageyama's lips brush over his ring finger. There's no mistaking the significance of that silent gesture. 

Oikawa mirrors the promise on Kaegyama's left hand.

* * *

Abruptly at night, Kageyama's grasp on Oikawa's hand tightens. Oikawa startles awake. The sound of strained breathing, and rustling sheets fill the bedroom. Even before his eyes adjust to the dark, Oikawa knows that Kageyama's having a nightmare. The grip on Oikawa's hand crosses over into painful, but he doesn't mind. Oikawa's most focused on trying to wake his partner.

"Tobio--" Oikawa gently shakes Kageyama's shoulder a few times. When that doesn't help, Oikawa shakes a little harder. His voice raises. "Wake up, Tobio. Sweetheart, you need to wake up. _Tobio!_ "

An inhale pierces through Kageyama. He jolts awake with eyes snapping open. Glacier hues waver erratically. His chest heaves and falls in a staggering rhythm. "Tooru--" Kageyama flails in an attempt to get out of bed, and search for his partner.

Oikawa wraps his arms around Kageyama. "Tobio, I'm here." He tightens the embrace from behind, and kisses Kageyama's shoulder. "I'm right here."

It feels like Kageyama ran miles. His heartbeat accelerates into overdrive. Rising anxiety threatens to mutate into a panic attack. Most times, there's no stopping it. But tonight is kinder. The anxiety subsides just enough to veer away from driving Kageyama off a cliff. With Oikawa holding the man close to his chest, Kageyama can match his partner's breathing. The uneven breathing gradually smoothens out.

Combating anxiety exhausts Kageyama more than any physical activity. It takes so fucking much out of the man. He's even too tired to fight scalding tears.

"I came home, and..." Kageyama's voice trails off. "You weren't there."

Heartache echoes inside Oikawa's chest. Even without Kageyama elaborating, Oikawa understands where this is coming from. How many times had Kageyama returned to an empty, cold home in the past? His only companion for years was silence.

"I'm sorry." Kageyama tries to cover up his breaking voice with a laugh. It sounds painfully brittle. "I don't mean to be overly clingy, or keep you from sleeping. I can- I can just go to the living room-" 

Kageyama could probably ramble for a few more minutes. But Kageyama lets out an _"omph!"_ when Oikawa flops more of his body on top. It's almost a full body slam.

"Stay right here." Oikawa rests his head on Kageyama's chest. "Don't go." He pouts playfully. "You haven't filled your hourly quota of cuddles!"

"It's an hourly quota now?" Kageyama fails to suppress a laugh. "Not even daily?"

Oikawa's pout grows. "Am I asking for too much?"

"Fuck no. C'mere." With a grin, Kageyama holds Oikawa closer. 

After tangling their limbs even more, they eventually settle down in bed. Kageyama pillows Oikawa's head with his arm. A hand plays with soft umber locks while his other hand slides under Oikawa's shirt. As Oikawa melts from the caresses, he spreads nuzzling punctuated with light kisses.

"If you ever come home, and I'm not there-- it just means I'm on my way." Oikawa smiles brightly. "Probably picking up milk."

"...milk boxes?"

"Of course, silly." Oikawa brushes his nose across Kageyama's cheek. "God forbid you ever learn to drink milk from a glass. Or without a straw."

Oikawa laughs as Kageyama lightly punches him in the arm. His chest warms at the sight of Kageyama's smile. Oikawa pecks his cheek colored by a blush. Light-hearted laughter and murmurs fills the bedroom. As Kageyama curls up against him, Oikawa can't resist the urge to melt. Kageyama burrows more into the man's warmth, then lets out a soft sigh of content.

Quiet settles back into the bedroom. They trade light, gentle touches. Oikawa thinks his partner's falling back asleep. But then he feels Kageyama's lips drift over the curve of his shoulder, up his neck, and reach his ear. 

"Tooru, can I worship you? Please?"

The words brush over softly, but hit like an electrifying live wire. Something trembles inside Oikawa's chest. It takes Oikawa a moment to recover from those words, and the way Kageyama says his name. He keeps getting distracted by his boyfriend's light kisses and nuzzles. 

"Mmhm," Oikawa answers with an easy smile. "Be good for me?"

Eagerly, Kageyama nods. He expresses gratitude with a slow kiss. As Oikawa lays on his back, Kageyama hovers over him. Oikawa unravels under wandering lips and hands. Sometimes, Kageyama and Oikawa are rough, brutal, and fast like a relentless hurricane. Tonight, they take it slow like the calm ocean tide.

As Kageyama's lips trace along his jawline, Oikawa bares his throat. It's a silent plea to be marked. With fingers curling in Oikawa's hair, Kageyama begins creating love bites. A sharp gasp, then a soft mewl leaves Oikawa. The sound is so damned pretty that Kageyama needs to hear more. Within seconds, Kageyama has Oikawa writhing underneath him. A chaotic massacre of scarlet and rouge paint over Oikawa's throat, reaching under his jaw, spreading over his clavicles.

Kageyama lavishes attention down Oikawa's chest while unbuttoning the flannel. After drawing the shirt off, Kageyama takes in the sight of his partner. "Beautiful," he whispers breathlessly. Kageyama presses his lips against Oikawa's chest, right over the man's heart.

There's no chance at a cheeky remark from Oikawa when he's too flustered. Even moved. Then he's slammed with a whirlwind of raw emotions as Kageyama creates more marks. A tug on Kageyama's shirt signals for him to take it off. Kageyama sits up, and pulls the shirt over his head. Instead of carelessly throwing it across the room, Kageyama folds the shirt that's actually Oikawa's, and neatly sets it aside. He's always mindful with any of his belongings, but even more respectful of Oikawa's clothes.

"So lovely," Oikawa muses out loud. He runs his hands down the exposed torso. Kageyama's muscles have grown more defined over the years. But there are more scars as well. It's the nature of being an athlete honing their body, and challenging limits. "Gorgeous. Stunning."

Kageyama's blush creeps down his neck. "Babe." He swears the warm red even passes over his collar bones. "I'm supposed to be taking care of you tonight."

Oikawa smiles cheekily. "Who was it that said we take care of each other?"

The comeback on the tip of Kageyama's tongue remains forgotten. Oikawa looks too captivating for Kageyama to think clearly. The way his auburn bangs cascade just right. That soft smile glowing even in the dark. Kageyama leans in to press their lips together. He groans into the kiss as Oikawa tugs on his hair. With the kiss deepening, they savor each other. Lips part as Kageyama shifts down. He lightly nips at marks along the way.

When Oikawa lifts his hips, Kageyama knows his partner wants the sleep pants to be stripped off. Soon, Oikawa's melting as Kageyama caresses his bare legs. Kageyama kisses a line of burning poetry up Oikawa's thigh, punctuated with gentle bites. When Kageyama's lips linger on his knee, Oikawa breathes through rising tears. 

Even now, Oikawa wears the knee support brace for volleyball. The white support is a stark contrast against the opposite black knee pad. Nobody has ever said anything bad about Oikawa's knee to his face. Nothing mocking. Nothing pitying. As athletes, they all hold themselves to high standards of sportsmanship.

But anxieties and terrors in Oikawa's mind whisper about it almost daily. Who knows when Oikawa will damage his knee to the point where he can't play anymore? An injury that takes someone out of the game permanently is every athlete's worst fear.

A tear escapes the corner of his eye. Not because he's spiraling. But because Kageyama catches and anchors Oikawa by loving him so fiercely. Around Oikawa's knee is a growing constellation map of love bites. Kageyama's absolutely relentlessly as he covers nearly every bare space with deep rouge. Tugging on dark hair, Oikawa arches and moans.

 _"Tobio--"_ Oikawa calls his name between sharp inhales. "I need you. Please."

Oikawa's breath hitches when Kageyama looks up. Pupils dilated with lust devour the ultramarines. Being the center of such an intense, hungry gaze compels Oikawa to surrender. 

"I need you too." Kageyama leans up to catch Oikawa's mouth in a kiss. This time, it's a brutally passionate claim. Kageyama drinks in all of his lover's precious sounds. Everything tastes addictively sweet. As his hand lightly grasps Oikawa's neck, Kageyama caresses the hummingbird pulse. "I'm yours."

Oikawa bares more of his throat. "I'm yours," he echoes above a whisper. 

Hands reach out. Remaining layers of clothes fall away. At the touch of skin upon skin, they exhale together.

* * *

By a miracle, Karasuno and Aoba Johsai's alumni team gather together for a reunion on the court. Even their old coaches, advisors and managers are present. Some former players and friends from Date Tech, Nekoma, Fukuroudani, Shiratorizawa, and more schools have shown up to watch. 

It's not an official game for any tournament. But the match is bloody exhilarating. Everyone's better today than they were during high school. No one holds anything back. Both teams are ambitious as ever to win. Points rack up. The teams keep up ferociously with each other. 

When they settle in place after another rotation, Kageyama and Oikawa stand in front of each other. The net divides them. Kageyama stares with fierce determination. Oikawa mirrors the intense gaze with his own. Adrenaline skyrockets when both Kageyama and Oikawa stand in the front row. Being in a relationship hasn't diminished the rivalry between the two setters. Instead it's fuel to the flame.

An unrelenting rally goes on. It seems absolute that Kageyama's going to set up a toss for Hinata. But at the last second, Kageyama tips the volleyball over the net to execute a setter's dump. Raucous cheers and shouts explode in the gym. The volleyball deflects off Oikawa's foot, then rolls back over to Karasuno's side. As the Karasuno team slaps Kageyama on the back, and ruffle his hair, the setter reaches to pick up the ball. A smile tugs on his face as Kageyama stands up.

"Tobio."

Kageyama pauses. He sees Oikawa grasping the net, fingers catching on the threads. Oikawa lifts up the lower portion to cross over onto Kageyama's side.

Blue eyes widen in curiosity and bewilderment. Kageyama falters. "Tooru, what-"

Oikawa gets down on his knee.

And holds out a ring.

The gym erupts in a deafening, thunderous uproar. Even those watching from the stands quickly join everyone on the court. Cheers, screams and sobs reverberate in the gymnasium. Everyone crowds around the two setters.

Stunned into silence, Kageyama stares. He doesn't even register the slowly surfacing tears. The volleyball slips from Kageyama's grasp. His hands remain frozen in midair. Kageyama remembers to breathe when Oikawa takes his left hand.

"It's been over ten years, since you asked me to teach you how to jump serve. And you'd ask me everyday. Even more than once sometimes." Oikawa laughs through held back tears. His thumb runs over Kageyama's hand. "You didn't only make me want to be a better setter. But a better man. And _you--_ " Oikawa tries to cover up how his voice cracks with another laugh. "You love me even when we lose. Or when I have my bad days."

Kageyama holds Oikawa's hand tighter. He presses the back of his other hand against his lips. The setter's hardly able to quiet his hitched breathing.

"Tobio, I want to give you more than just another ten years. I want to give you the rest of my life. I promise, I'll always be here for you to come home to." Smiling through brilliant tears, Oikawa asks, "Will you marry me?"

Nodding furiously, Kageyama lowers his hand from his face. _"Yes,"_ he gasps out with a sob. "Yes, yes, fuck yes, _Tooru--_ "

As soon as Oikawa slides the ring on Kageyama's hand, he surges up to kiss his fiancé. Kageyama returns the kiss with every fibre of his being. Overwhelming cheers and applause surround them. Oikawa lifts Kageyama up by holding under his thighs. Kageyama wraps his arms around the man's shoulders. Tears fall freely. They can't help, but cry and smile into the kiss.

Once Kageyama's let back down, their team and friends crowd in on them. People tackle them with hugs. With his face buried in Kageyama's chest, Hinata screams pure joy. Happy sobs and laughter muffle. Iwaizumi and Oikawa lock in a tight embrace. More hugs, hair tousling and shoulder claps are given.

But the game isn't over yet.

This is the final set to determine today's winner. The audience settles back in the stands. Many of them are still crying. Both teams stand on either side of the net.

 _"Tobio!"_ Oikawa shouts across the court. His smile burns bright as the love in his eyes. Oikawa points at his fiancé while holding the volleyball. "This next serve's for you!"

Half of everyone is about to keel over. The other half is letting out another wave of tears.

Kageyama gets into position, and flashes a smirk at his future husband. Never have the cerulean hues shone so vibrantly. The gymnasium lights reflect off his ring.

With all his heart and soul, Kageyama shouts, "You gonna teach me how to jump serve?"

Laughter breaks free from Oikawa. "Maybe if you win!"

Oikawa hurls the volleyball into the air, takes measured steps forward, then launches into a soaring jump. His hand--

* * *

> \--slams into the volleyball.
> 
> "My heart!"
> 
> Oikawa startles at the sudden voice. He breaks his eyes away from watching the volleyball. Standing few yards to Oikawa's side is a small, dark haired boy with bright blue eyes. The boy clutches at his chest. Quietly, Oikawa exhales.
> 
> "What about your heart, Tobio?"
> 
> "When you serve--" The boy demonstrates with his arm swinging in the air, "--it's amazing! There's nothing else like it!" A hand slaps at his chest. "I feel it right in my heart, senpai!"
> 
> Oikawa's at a loss for words. He doesn't know how to respond to someone so genuinely pure.
> 
> In the Kitagawa Daiichi team, Kageyama is the smallest. Even with one of the smaller-sized jackets, it still hangs loosely off his frame. The kid's default expression is puppy dog eyes. Maybe that's why Iwaizumi remarks in amusement how Kageyama's a kouhai following Oikawa around like a puppy. Adoring. Bright. Loyal. Oikawa always scoffs at that. 
> 
> If Kageyama is a puppy, then he's not a very smart one. No matter how many times Oikawa refuses to teach him how to jump serve, Kageyama never gives up. The younger boy even passes Oikawa water bottles or towels. Not to earn brownie points. But just because the kid's so goddamned kind.
> 
> Why?
> 
> What has Oikawa done to deserve this kindness?
> 
> They clean up the gym in silence. It finally breaks as Oikawa locks up the sports storage room.
> 
> "You gonna ask me again to teach you how to serve?" Oikawa phrases it as a rhetorical question. But knowing Kageyama, the boy will take it literally.
> 
> Instead Kageyama takes Oikawa's hand-- the one that almost struck Kageyama last week. Heavy dread sinks in Oikawa's stomach. His blood runs cold. Oikawa has barely slept or eaten since the incident. He keeps expecting to hear from Kageyama's family, their coach, maybe even their school.
> 
> But Iwaizumi shared that Kageyama said he hasn't told anyone. Because Kageyama doesn't see the need to. The boy holds nothing against Oikawa. If not anything, Kageyama's been worried about the volleyball captain.
> 
> When Oikawa knows he's fucked up, he owns up to it. And he seriously fucked up by nearly taking it out on Kageyama.
> 
> "I'm sorry for almost hurting you." Oikawa's hand trembles in the younger boy's grasp. "I never should have lashed out at you like that."
> 
> "I forgive you."
> 
> A blank expression wipes over Oikawa's face. Then he blinks furiously to hold back tears. "It shouldn't be that easy." Oikawa slides his hand out of Kageyama's grasp. His fists clench at his sides. "How can I make it up to you?"
> 
> Kageyama stares. It's clear that the boy's putting a great deal of thought into this. Maybe now Kageyama will use this opportunity for a lesson in jump serves. When he's decided upon an answer, Kageyama stands up straight. He still barely reaches Oikawa's shoulder. The boy declares:
> 
> "Milk bread!"
> 
> Blinking, Oikawa wonders if he heard the boy right. "What?"
> 
> "Milk bread from the bakery near school." Kageyama nods with a mix of excitement and eagerness. "And you need to eat some too!" Quickly, he adds, "Please!" Kageyama's possibly the politest kid of his year.
> 
> "You're also a milk bread fan?"
> 
> "Yes! I want to grow tall, so I can catch up to you." Kageyama lifts his arms into the air, hands reaching up. "Please get me the biggest, fluffiest one."
> 
> Oikawa's about to insist that Kageyama should ask for something more than simply milk bread. Or point out how milk bread may not help much with growing taller. But while staring at the younger boy, a realization kicks in: Kageyama's trying to cheer Oikawa up. Tears sting at the corners of Oikawa's eyes. The older setter laughs. To his surprise, fondness swells in his chest. 
> 
> "Alright, alright." Oikawa ruffles the boy's dark hair. "We'll get some milk to go with it too."
> 
> "Like...as in milk boxes?"
> 
> "Of course!" Oikawa scoffs. "I'm your captain and senpai. You think I don't know that?"
> 
> Those blue eyes sparkle even more. Oikawa's not sure if it's from accepting Kageyama's request, or playing with the boy's hair. He begins to understand what Iwaizumi means when he says that Kageyama looks at Oikawa as if he hung the moon and stars. Or even as if Oikawa invented volleyball. Oikawa's chest grows until he feels that all this warmth will burst. 
> 
> Kageyama tugs on Oikawa's blue and white jersey sleeve. "Can I make one more request?"
> 
> Here it is. Kageyama's going to finally ask for that jump serve. Oikawa sighs. "Sure, what is it?"
> 
> Kageyama takes a deep breath, then shouts, _"Please let me hold your hand!"_
> 
> For a boy so small, Tobio's voice fills up the gymnasium with that passionate exclamation. The words reverberate in the air. Oikawa's ears almost ring from the sheer volume. Tobio holds his open hand out. His brows knit together in determination. Although there's a glimpse of uncertainty and fear in his eyes, the blues glimmer brightly with hope.
> 
> Oikawa used to believe Tobio only ever has such eyes for volleyball. But while standing in the focus of that fierce starlight gaze, Oikawa's chest feels things he doesn't want to name. Not yet. Not now. Maybe someday, when they're older.
> 
> Shaking his head, Oikawa smiles. "Tobio, what am I going to do with you?" He takes the boy's hand.
> 
> The pure joy in Kageyama is like watching a flower bloom in acceleration. More color rushes to his face. Kageyama laces their fingers together. 
> 
> "Thank you!"
> 
> "You okay with this?" Oikawa holds up their clasped hands. They begin leaving the gym. "My hand's kinda-- uh- rough." It's inevitable as a volleyball player. Oikawa's never cared about how his hands feel to anyone. So, why is Oikawa self-conscious with his kouhai? Someone that's also a setter?
> 
> "Yes!" Kageyama beams. Blue eyes shine with light rivaling that of the sun. The hue's even more vivid when contrasted with the happy blush. Kageyama squeezes Oikawa's hand. "This is perfect!"
> 
> Oikawa loses breath over that radiant smile. As Kageyama turns his eyes back ahead, he tugs Oikawa along. The younger boy swings their hands together between them. Oikawa sees that Kageyama's smile hasn't faded in the slightest. Warmth blossoms in Oikawa's chest. Maybe someday, Kageyama will grow tall as him.
> 
> But Oikawa hopes the boy will never outgrow that smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you all enjoyed my first Haikyuu!! story ; u; ♡ Comments, kudos and such are always appreciated. Stay safe and take care! ♡♡♡
> 
> Fic title: ['Heal Me' - Snow Patrol](https://youtu.be/8xRBUBL9z7s)


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